April Awards
Will Hailey hands out awards for April's biggest storylines
The Burner Boys ended April all together in Boston where we gave flowers to some of baseball’s best ballparks on a live episode of No Dowd About It! The positivity largely ends there as here are ten mostly negative and overly movie-referenced awards for the month of April in Major League Baseball.
Clyde “Sweetfeet” Livingston Hang Up The Cleats Award: Jose Abreu
In the 2003 cinematic masterpiece Holes, based on the novel of the same name, Texas Rangers speedster Clyde “Sweetfeet” Livingston donates his World Series worn cleats to a local homeless children’s shelter. The fictional Livingston has produced more value on a baseball field this season than Jose Abreu by simply not existing. Abreu slashed an astonishingly bad .099/.156/.113 in 77 plate appearances in April, good for -20 wRC+ and -1.2 WAR. This past Tuesday the Astros sent Abreu to their minor league complex in Florida in the hopes that he finds his own personal Sploosh to beat the “smells like retirement” allegations.
Fanatics See Right Through Them Award: Jose Berrios
Like a pair of Fanatics baseball pants, you can see right through Jose Berrios’ early season success. The Blue Jays starter threw 43.2 April innings, the most of any pitcher in baseball, and finished the month with a 1.42 ERA which ranks fourth in the majors for qualified pitchers. Not so fast my friend! Berrios is giving up hard contact over 50% of the time while only getting whiffs on 20% of pitches. His xERA, FIP, xFIP, and SIERA (MLB Insider Matt Rosen’s favorite) are all between 4.03 and 4.43. A .229 BABIP and ridiculous 96.6% LOB% are covering up a scary profile that is bound for regression.
The Tortured Poets Department Fall From Grace Award: Houston Astros
The Houston Astros are the Taylor Swift of baseball. You might not be a fan, but it has been a long time since they have given you a real reason to be a hater. You at least have to respect the product they put out and the success they have had. But as Taylor’s latest album fell completely flat, so have the Astros going 10-19 to start the year. Even with the struggles of Jose Abreu, the Houston offense ranks fourth in the bigs aided by a team K rate of just 16.6%. The pitching has been a different story. Even with incredible Aprils from Ronel Blanco, Christian Javier, and Framber Valdez, the team ERA of 4.89 is fourth worst in baseball and the staff has walked more batters than any other team so far. The return of JV on the bump should help, but the Will’s pick of the Astros winning the West again is looking bleak.
Kool-Aid Man Burst on the Scene Award: Jared Jones
Jared Jones? DAWG. Jones came into spring with a strong, but not elite, minor league track record and a 56th overall prospect ranking. Then we saw. ELITE stuff. Command. Velocity. All of it. Everything he showed in a dominate spring carried over into one of the best Aprils a player could have. Jones lead all starters in Stuff+ and Swinging Strike Rate while being second in K-BB%. He has an untouchable Fastball/Slider combination that eerily resembles Strider Strider. Plus, for the pre-Moneyball scouts, he has a good face too. Like Strider, he has a propensity for the longball and also like Strider he did see his velo dip significantly in his last start. Hopefully that is just a blip and we see Jones continue to take MLB by storm like the Kool-Aid Man does to an unsuspecting house. Oh Yeah!
Monty Python Not Dead Yet Award: Justin Turner
Lebron James is unquestionably the best 39-year old athlete on the planet right now, but Justin Turner might be next. Turner has been a well-above average hitter every year since he got to LA in 2014 and this April he has been as good as he has ever been. The Blue Jays’ DH has hit .298/.376/.511 with four home runs and a 154 wRC+ this year. His skills have certainly declined as he no longer boasts league-leading contact rates, but he continues to put the bat on the ball, see the ball well, and crush off-speed pitches. “I’m not dead yet!” - Justin Turner, probably.
Ippei Mizuhara Bad Bet Award: Corbin Carroll
Corbin Carroll had a historic season in 2023 going 25/54 while amassing 5.4 WAR, winning NL Rookie of the Year, and finishing 5th in MVP voting. He came into 2024 with +1800 odds to win NL MVP and has been nothing short of awful. He slashed .193/.292/.246 in April and is now batting at the bottom of the lineup for a D-Backs team that finds themselves 4th in the NL West after playing in the World Series just six months ago. There were some concerns in his batted ball profile in 2023 with average-to-below average hard hit rates and launch angles, but all of which have plummeted to near league lows this year. Maybe the biggest change this year has been hitting pop ups at a 14% rate, cutting his FB% down to just 18%. Plus, the fly balls Carroll was pulling for home runs last year are now going out to Right Field for outs. If any of our readers put big money on Carroll to win MVP this year you may want to steal some cash from your rich buddy.
Consultant What Would You Say You Do Here Award: Garrett Cleavinger
Consultants have a job, but even they do not know exactly what they do. Rays’ reliever Garrett Cleavinger made eleven appearances in April and appeared in a 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, and 13th inning. He has two saves, two holds, and three wins to go along with a 2.45 ERA and 15 Ks. It would be easy to chalk up his usage to being a lefty, but 64% on the batters he has faced have been rightys, more than fellow bullpen-mate and right-hander Jason Adam. The Rays have long had a propensity for undefined roles in the bullpen and Cleavinger is their magnum opus. Give Cleavinger a slidedeck and a war crime allegation and he might as well pitch for McKinsey.
Challengers Triple Threat Award: Atlanta Braves
Challengers is Certified Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes so it would make sense to talk about LA’s trio of stars that have been as good as advertised this season. But Mookie, Shohei, and Freddie raking is not news. Acuna, Olson, and Riley stumbling out of the gate in 2024 IS news. The Braves still managed to go 19-9 in April despite a combined 1.3 WAR and sub-100 wRC+ from their three stars. Olson’s .702 OPS leads the group and after the trio hit 135 home runs in 2023 they enter May with just 6 homers combined. Hard hit rates and average exit velo looks good for all of them, but Acuna has struggled to catch up to the fastball, Olson’s barrels haven’t turned into dingers, and Riley just kinda sucks right now. No one tell Brian Snitker, but these guys might need a day off.
Skating Ray Swag Too Different Award: Jesse Winker
Skating Ray your smoke too tough. Your swag too different. They’ll kill you. The Rays debuted a skateboarding devil ray logo as part of their City Connect branding this week and Evan Longbardia is easily the coolest thing to happen to baseball all year. Jesse Winker’s pimp job on a grand slam in Miami is up there, though. Winker has had an injury-plagued career, but has been productive in every season until his 2023 in Milwaukee. He looks healthy and as good as ever in Washington with a 132 wRC+ in April and swagger only rivaled by Shred McGriff.
Phantom Menace Is That Legal Award: Nestor Cortes
Nestor gonna Nestor. The Yankees starter is notorious for messing with timing and broke out this move in a mid-April matchup against the Guardians. As it is the 25th anniversary of The Phantom Menace coming up this month it is only appropriate to ask, “Is that…legal?”. As it turns out, no, and it is fair to assume Darth Manfred does not intend to make it legal anytime soon. Nestor has not been untouchable, but this year he looks much closer to the pitcher we saw in 2022 than 2023. In 42 innings Cortes has struck out 37 while only walking 7 with an ERA of 3.89, but an xERA of just 2.77.
-WH
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WH is turning into the Joe Posnanski of standup comic/admission dean/podcasters.