Who Should Be In The New Backyard Baseball?
Who Should Be In The New Backyard Baseball?
Will Hailey chooses the 31 players he believes should represent MLB in the new Backyard Baseball game
WE’RE SO BACK! This week, Backyard Sports announced the forthcoming return of Backyard Baseball. Millennials across the globe forgot about their lower back pain and hair loss, if but for a moment, to exist in nostalgic bliss remembering the iconic video game first released in 1997. The video game series, originally developed by Humongous Entertainment, left a deep cultural impact on a generation of sports fans and non-sports fans alike. The announcement of the franchise’s return leaves us with many questions surrounding what the gameplay will look like, what a new group of developers will add to the game, and what will stay the same, but for me, the most important question is: who will be in it?
The original Backyard Baseball release included 30 fictional cartoon children to choose from, all with differing abilities and backstories. The developers did a truly astonishing job creating fictitious players that spanned gender, race, body type, ability, and background. Every kid in America could find a character that reminded them of themselves. In the franchise’s second installment released in 2000, Humongous Entertainment added 31 real life pros to the game with one player representing each major league team (and two Cincinnati Reds because the Seattle-based creators insisted on including Ken Griffey Jr despite having been traded away from the Mariners months before). Early in the life of No Dowd About It!, the Jon Dowd’s Burner Boys discussed which player from each Major League team should be included in a new, hypothetical, Backyard Baseball game. Now, close to two years later, this exercise is no longer hypothetical and I have tasked myself with the ~humongous~ duty of choosing the 31 players to represent Major League Baseball in Backyard Baseball 2025.
First, let’s talk methodology. The goal is not to put the best player from each team in the game. Of course, skill is important, but a representative and diverse group of recognizable players is paramount in creating the perfect roster for a kid’s game. Like the original developers, I made how the players would translate into a cartoons a significant consideration, choosing some players in part for their distinguishing features. I also included ratings out of 10 for each player in Batting, Running, Pitching, and Fielding respectively. I made sure no one was as good as Pablo Sanchez.
American League:
Baltimore: Adley Rutschman (7/4/7/8)
Starting with a controversial pick, I know. Gunnar is the best player. He’s got the best name. The round face and blonde mullet would translate perfectly to a Backyard cartoon. But…we need catchers. Backyard Baseball 2001 and 2003 included at least two catchers and the league is hurting for star power behind the plate at the moment. I also decided that if he can kick for Oregon State he can be one of the rare position players with a strong pitching rating.
Boston: Rafael Devers (9/4/3/5)
Raffy has been one of the best hitters in baseball for six seasons and the round race and round body will make for a great cartoon.
Chicago: Luis Robert Jr (7/9/4/8)
He might not be on the White Sox for long but when healthy is an incredibly exciting player. Easy pick for a bad team.
Cleveland: Jose Ramirez (9/8/4/7)
J-Ram is a future Hall of Famer and the shorter and rounder stature makes him perfect for Backyard Baseball.
Detroit: Tarik Skubal (3/5/10/7)
Skubal has cemented himself as one of the best pitchers in baseball and is by far the most talented player on a young Tigers team. He’s got a great name and adding a left-handed pitcher helps too.
Houston: Jose Altuve (8/8/3/6)
No, Altuve is not the best player on the Astros anymore, but at 5’5 he is automatic to be put in this game.
Kansas City: Bobby Witt Jr (9/10/4/10)
Bobby Witt Jr is the perfect baseball player. I gave him 9 for hitting just so he would not be the perfect video game player too. Pablo still goes 1:1 though.
Los Angeles: Mike Trout (8/9/7/7)
Injuries or not he’s still the guy. He’ll be the guy until he retires. He feels like he can pitch a little too.
Minnesota: Carlos Correa (7/6/4/9)
Buxton’s injuries has made him largely irrelevant and Royce Lewis’ injuries have kept him from becoming the guy just yet. Correa has the necessary name recognition and Puerto Rican representation is important.
New York: Aaron Judge (10/5/3/6)
Leaving Juan Soto out of the game feels impossible. Judge still gets the edge on pure hitting, but the massive stature will make for a better character, plus his childhood likeness can include his former front tooth gap.
Oakland: Mason Miller (3/5/9/6)
This is tough. No one has established themselves in Oakland, and then ones that have come close, including Miller, may be traded soon. Adding reliever representation felt like the right move here.
Seattle: Julio Rodriguez (8/10/6/9)
He has not played like a star this year, but he is one. There are few more fun players in baseball and this game is about fun. It had to be him.
Tampa Bay: Yandy Diaz (7/4/7/5)
Tampa Bay is tough in a post Randy world. Yandy may not be a Ray by next spring but he has a fun name and maybe his character can sit on the bench doing curls with a 10-lb weight? Plate discipline does not count here so I made him a solid pitcher.
Texas: Corey Seager (9/5/4/6)
Semien and Garcia are good choices too, but Seager is too good a hitter not to choose despite no distinguishing features.
Toronto: Vladimir Guerrero Jr (8/6/4/4)
How cool would it be to have Vladito in the game after his dad repped the Expos in Backyard Baseball 2001 and 2003? RIP to the locs that would have added to the on-screen character, but Vladdy is another round slugger that will be perfect as a cartoon.
National League
Arizona: Corbin Carroll (7/10/3/9)
Down year aside, Carroll is the best known D-Back with flair and long hair. He’s the guy.
Atlanta: Ronald Acuna Jr (9/9/4/7)
Cases could be made for a number of players, but Ronny is an MVP and is the most exciting player on the Braves, if not the league.
Chicago: Seiya Suzuki (7/7/5/6)
Bellinger is the bigger name, but adding a Japanese player is important and there are enough pitchers rosters that Shota did not feel necessary.
Cincinnati: Elly De La Cruz (7/10/5/9)
A better video game player than a real life player with a fun name, tall slender frame, and long hair. Exactly the right guy for this game.
Colorado: Ezequiel Tovar (6/8/5/10)
Whatever.
Los Angeles: Shohei Ohtani (10/9/9/4)
Who else? The greatest baseball player to ever walk the earth needs to be in the game.
Los Angeles: Mookie Betts (9/7/8/7)
If one team gets to double dip it should be the Dodgers. Shohei is automatic, but Mookie is everything that is right about baseball and, even more that Soto, feels impossible not to include. His name is MOOKIE. Plus he’s small. If he can bowl a perfect game and dunk, I think he can pitch too.
Miami: Sandy Alcantara (4/6/9/7)
Losing Jazz hurts here and Sandy is the only other option. Sandy is a fun name at least?
Milwaukee: Christian Yelich (7/8/4/6)
You could argue William Contreras should be the pick to add another catcher and (spoiler) would be in the game with his brother. That argument is probably better even. But Yelich has been a Brewer for so long that it feels wrong for him not to represent them. Plus, he has distinct features, although I am not sure how they would translate to Backyard animation.
New York: Francisco Lindor (7/8/3/9)
He is the best player on the Mets, an MVP candidate, and will have the biggest smile in the game.
Philadelphia: Bryce Harper (9/6/5/7)
An easy choice, plus his character can get back to his roots with the crazy eye black. He will surely find a way to pander to the Melonhead faithful.
Pittsburgh: Paul Skenes (6/4/9/7)
A young superstar that I would love to see in cartoon form with four little upper lip hairs showing the start of a mustache. He raked at Air Force so he will be the pitcher with some decent hitting chops.
San Diego: Fernando Tatis Jr (8/8/3/8)
Tatis is not without controversy, but he is objectively fun and undoubtedly the guy in San Diego.
San Francisco: Matt Chapman (7/7/5/9)
You got any better ideas?
St. Louis: Willson Contreras (7/5/5/7)
Arenado, Goldschmidt, and even Sonny Gray might have better cases here in a vacuum, but we desperately need another catcher.
Washington: James Wood (7/8/3/6)
A toss up with CJ Abrams, but I will bet on Wood’s rising stardom. Plus, the lanky 6’7 frame will play better as a cartoon.
Let us know on Twitter @JonDowdBurner what I got right and what I got wrong and listen to the latest episode of No Dowd About It! where we catch up on the last month of baseball news.
-WH
He's got style, he's got flair, he gets the early 2000's vibe. He's Will Hailey, auteur extraordinaire! One mild disagreement, though. Acuna is certainly among the top five players in baseball and has plenty of what I believe you kids call rizz. But have you seen Ozzie Albies on the bench? He's loves everybody, everybody loves him, and he's the beating heart of the Braves. Put him in, Coach!